I’ve never really thought of myself as a risk-taker. Quite to the contrary, I’ve always thought of myself as far too conservative. Now, I’m not talking about those one-shot challenges that show up in peoples’ bucket lists, like skydiving or climbing Half Dome. I do occasionally break out of my mold to tackles some of those. Rather, I’m talking about the type of risks that alter the course of your life, like moving to a foreign country or drastically changing careers. Skydiving and Half Dome might give you a change of perspective, but those activities have known endings. When you skydive, you know ahead of time where you’ll land; when you climb Half Dome, you know in a few hours you’ll be right back at the base of the cables. But when you move to a foreign country or change careers, you really never know where you are going to end up. Sure you can speculate and run a thousand different probability matrices in your mind; however, ultimately, it’s a leap of faith. That’s risky…

… and exhilarating… and terrifying… all at the same time.

None of this is to say that I haven’t taken that kind of risk before. Most of my friends and colleagues (and especially my family) will tell you that I am that type of crazy risk taker. I went to school on the other side of the United States to be an Aerospace Engineer, and promptly got a safe government Aerospace job. I bought a house and was well placed to move up the corporate ladder. I even skydived and traveled around the world a bit. But then something inside of me mutinied. And I quit. I sold my house. I moved back across the United States, and went back to school with the intent of getting a PhD. in Classics (you know, Latin and Greek… oh so practical compared to engineering… right?). My reasons for doing so were and still are valid. I had a plan. What could possibly be worse? Continuing down the same path towards a safe, but monotonous and probably listless, future? Or taking a blind leap, setting aside that safety, on the belief you will emerge on a rewarding path. People thought I was nuts. Some people still think I’m nuts.

I’ve completed a Master of Arts in Classics now. That part took longer than I thought and was fraught with challenges that I did not foresee. Oh, I got good grades, wrote a cool thesis, and learned how much I enjoyed teaching. Nonetheless, in that time, especially of late, I realized, just how creatively restless I am. When teaching jobs didn’t leap out at me (yes, I recognize the fallacy in my logic here: When do Latin teaching jobs really leap out at anyone?), I jettisoned some of my fixation on constructing another conventional career. What was it that I really wanted?

That’s a hard question to answer simply because so many expectations are placed on all of us that genuinely finding our own voices in the midst of the cacophony is difficult. The answer for me did not come out coherently at first, but the longer I talked about it (sometimes out-loud and sometimes to myself), the clearer my vision became. What about game design? But not just any type of game design; after all, I had accumulated experience over the course of my explorations. I wanted to develop games that also taught people – not the type of in-your-face, this-is-clearly-an-educational-exercise game, but rather those that were the kind you sit around a table with family and friends, laughing and plotting and never realizing that they were teaching you something or inspiring you to learn more. I wanted to put my love of teaching and learning, Classics, travel, aerospace, National Parks, gardening, skydiving, history, RPGs, and all those myriad of experiences I had accumulated to work.

The answer seemed so clear, and yet in crept the cacophony: Is this too crazy? Is this even responsible? What chance do I have? Do I even have the professional skills or the connections? Is it even viable as a career or, at the very least, a part-time career? Hmmm… And before you ask, no, game design is not new to me. I have been doing it as a hobby on and off for as long as I can remember. I have even been to a couple dozen seminars on design and publication. Given all the obstacles I knew about the industry, still, the one thing that stood out to me about game design was that I always loved doing it. So, I decided that if I was in a position of reinventing myself, if only because no other opportunities were presenting themselves, why not try. Furthermore, as fate would have it, or perhaps precisely because fate had already prompted me, I had my starting point. I had been seriously working on a board game, which family and close friends seemed to really enjoy (more on that game in posts to follow).

So, here I am, standing before an unknown. Writing my first blog, no less. Taking that kind of risk. Again. None of this is to say that my path prior to this was a waste (as some people can be quick to criticize), rather I view it as providing me with just the right mix of eclectic tools. Plus, I have gotten to enjoy quoting Tolkien on occasion, after all “Not all those who wander are lost.” At the very least, I can wake up knowing that I’m being authentic, even if it is exhilarating… and terrifying… and risky… all at the same time.